Thursday, July 9, 2009

congrats to Jess!

My friend Jessica got engaged tonight. As happy as I am for her, it makes me think about my own situation. Am I in any position to get married? Hell no! Do I want to be engaged or married young, no. But I want someone to love me like her fiance, Angel, loves her. I want to be in love again. I want someone to show me affection and be there for me and who I can could on no matter what. In ways, I guess I do have that, or to some degree I have that, but its not enough for me. Now, I'm being selfish in a different way. Sometimes I want to scream 'make me promises, make me commitments!' 'Tell me you love me, as much as you show me, and I appreciate it, I wish I was hearing the words.' I wish I had someone to come home to at night. Who couldn't wait to see me. In some ways, it makes me miss Kyle. Obviously, we didn't work, but we really were there for each other. We had each other to depend on. Why can't I get that from the person I love?

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