hair progress

 Hair Progress pic #2.

I got it trimmed today. No length was taken off, just bulk. I thought it would be a good idea to get haircuts every 8 weeks like this, it's cheap and healthier. I also got a deep conditioning treatment. 

Day 23. July 29

Day 23...July 29

So Im giving in and getting a trim just cause my ends are so bad. I only trust Eli to literally dust the edges of my hair and fix my bangs. He's also giving me an insane discount on a deep conditioning treatment. So yay! No heat...pills. Everything the same.

Week 3. Day 21, July 27th!

Day 21! Week 3! July 27th!

Yesterday was the party at Brittany''s that I had spoken about in an earlier blog, and we had our hair done. I just had a few curls thown in mine to create a beachy/wavy look, and then later in the day, it was pinned back. Not a lot of heat, but SO much hairspray. I took a shower and used shampoo and conditioner right as soon as we were finished and my hair doesn't seem to be in worse condition. Apparently the hairstylist said she knew I was growing my hair out because my layers were long, which is a good sign that the pills are working! Yay!

My daily plate

I found this fantastic site called My daily plate, so I no longer have to post my diet info here. This will mainly be beauty and my hair growth/health again!

Day 17! July 23rd!/ Diet

Day 17! July 23rd!

Pill today, no heat, as always.

My hair is continuing to fall out. I dont know why that is...maybe the high level of stress and depression lately. Need to work on that.

Interview tonight at the Hookah Bar downstairs! I REALLLLY want this job!

Diet:

I caved and ate...MCDONALDS! eww. But thats like all Im going to eat today.

10 piece chicken nuggets- 400 calories

1/2 Sweet Tea - 115 calories

I've decided that counting calories is NOT enough. I need to figure out an exercise plan. Being outside and running might help my depression too. 

Day 16 JULY 22nd/ Diet

Day 16! July 22nd!

Pills, no heat. Haven't washed my hair yet. 

Diet: 

rice and butter- 390

Cheese and sausage - 88 calories (sausage) 101 (cheese)

mashed potatoes - 358 calories

________________________

= 871 calories

(Eww..mashed potatoes are SO high in calories...good thing I split them with Max!)

day 15! July 21st! /diet

Day 15! July 21st! 

No heat, pills as usual. Sunday, my friend Brittany and I are doing this thing called Booze and Boas, where a makeup artist, hair stylist and photographer are coming to Brittanys house and we have fun, So I probably will be using heat on my hair, but one time in 3 weeks is really good! 

Diet: 

8 chicken wings- 500 calories (ew! But I was tired of rice!)

1 cupcake - 240 calories

3 peanut butter cookies- 215 calories

steak tostada - 369

___________________________

=1324 calories

I DID HORRIBLE TODAY!

Week 2/Diet

Day 14! July 20th! Week 2!

Pills today. No heat...thats just crazy haha. No straightening in 2 weeks! Shampooed my hair this evening because it was feeling really oily. Used a combo of Ultimate Shine and Godiva, with Jungle Conditioner...fantastic.

Diet:

I found a little book to record my habits and calories.

Cheese/Pretzels/Meat- 23o calories

philidelphia maki rolls - 319 calories

soup with rice and egg - 422 calories

_______________________________

= 971 calories

LUSH/MAC haul/Day 13 July 19th!

Day 13! July 19th!

No heat still...unfortunately...I missed 3 days with my biotin pills because I left them at home when I went to spend the weekend in the suburbs. But I'll be right back on them tomorrow!

So diet wise, I've decided, I'm going to count my calories during the week (Monday through Friday) and try and eat super healthy. My mom and I really enjoy eating out together and eating a lot of things and it just doesn't make sense to try and count my calories on weekends and deprive myself of things I enjoy. 

I had a REALLY good interview with Victoria's Secret beauty department on Friday and got called for a second interview for tomorrow, so my mom gave me a little extra cash to get something cute to wear from forever 21.

***

 I also stopped in at LUSH and MACpro!

My LUSH haul:

Sugar Scrub - $4.95 - I had wanted either the sugar scrub or the sugar babe since they become available in the store. Honestly, I was leaning more towards Sugar babe, but this really nice sales girl in the store told me she liked sugar scrub better because it helped with stretch marks. yay!

Extra Virgin Olive Soap - My piece was approx. $8.00 - I had gotten about $35.00 worth of stuff, and if you spend $40.00, you get a free bath melt, so I asked the sales girl what her favorite kind of soap was and she told me this one. It smells fantastic and is really toning apparently. So, we'll see how I like it!

Wiccy Magic Muscles Massage Bar - $8.75- My mom got this massage bar, and I was always against it because I thought it smelled weird..without me actually smelling it, but when I used hers, I knew I had to have it because of the such high content of peppermint oil, which I've been loving lately.

Dream Cream - Sample - The sales woman gave me three samples and this was one of them. 

Handy Guru - Sample - The sales woman gave me three samples and this was one of them. 

Jasmine and Henna Fluff Ease - One of the three samples. I LOVE  this stuff.

Jungle Conditioner - My piece was approx. $5.00 - This is something I've been wanting to try for a really long time. I haven't been shampooing my hair, and I don't like their regular conditioners, so I thought a solid conditioner would be interesting to try. I used it already in the shower this evening, and it was a little difficult to figure out how to use (ended up breaking off pieces and making a paste), but the only difference I've noticed so far is the smell. More update later. 

MMM melting marshmellow moments bath melt - free if you spend over $40.00 - Obviously, this is the bath melt I got for spending over $40.00. I'm not too keen on the super sweet scent, but I've been wanting to try this one and floating islands, so again, we'll see how I like it. 

Blackberry bath bomb - $5.80-I wanted to try this one as well. It smelled just like grape soda, the water looked like koolaid and it says "bomb" on the top of the bath bomb. When the bath bomb has all fizzed out, theres a little note inside that says "boom boom!" it made me feel so much better because I was a little down! And the scent lingers on your skin. My favorite bath bomb by far!

Butterball bath bomb - $4.85 - Is supposed to be the most moisturizing bath bomb, so I wanted to try it. On the small side. With  a vanilla scent. 

***

Because I was at LUSH, I stopped in at MACpro, and bought just a few things. Yes, I cheated on project ten pan.

Eye Pencil in Phone Number - a charcoal dark grey color

Color Craft Eye Quad in Odd Bits -a bluish grey, a light pink, a cream color, and a burgandy

Plush plumping lipglass in Fulfilled - a lip plumping lip gloss with a milky sheen

DAY 10! July 16th

July 16th: day 10!
Same as usual. No heat, taking pill everyday, twice a day. Apparently it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. 11 days to go! 

But my hair has been falling out more than usual. Either thats because somethings wrong, or because the vitamins are creating a high abundance of extra hair. I'm hoping its the latter.

Diet: 

rice and butter:390 calories

Herb chicken ravioli at Pompei: 472 calories

1 small cupcake: 120 calories

_____________

= 982 Calories

July 15: Day 9!

Hair: no heat, and vitamins

Day 9! JULY 15!

Diet:

Day 2! 

Apple-72 calories

egg(fried)- 92 calories

ramen noodles - 190 calories

2 slices of zucchini bread - 346 calories

Rice with butter - 230 calories

1/2 McDonalds Sweet Tea - 115 calories

2 slices cinnamon raisin bread - 160 

_______________

=1,205 calories

Day 8, JULY 14th/Weight Loss

July 14th, Day 8! Pretty good. Still no heat. Pill this morning, and then I'll take it tonight after dinner.

So those of you who know me; I am OBSESSED with youtube videos. Particularly makeup gurus. WELL:  they've all decided to do a weight channel. And because of growing my nails out,hair out, I think I just want to get healthier and lose some weight. 

Now, I'm not overweight. Although there are places that take my weight: my mid section and my boobs. I'm 5'4 and 139 lbs. Thats not horrible, but I'd like to lose some weight. I don't have any sob story about why I gained weight, just I happen to love food, and going out to eat with my friends. A lot of them have decided to calorie count, and I checked; I should be eating 1400 calories a day to lose 1-2 lbs. So I also want to hold myself accountable. So Im going to start posting on here what I eat and how many calories they are.

A bowl of captain crunch cereal-208 Calories

Chicken casserole-720 calories

Apple cookie-50 calories

1 med raw banana- 105 calories   

2 slices zuchini bread- 346 calories

________________________

= 1429 calories. Only 18 calories over. Good start!

Thats all I've eaten so far today. So Ill post back tomorrow!

July 13th, Day 7! WEEK 1!

July 13th, Day 7. 1 week of growing out my hair. No heat, religiously taking vitamins, eating more protein. No dying, obviously. I deep conditioned my ends last night and they're a little bit better. Just wanted to document my progress. 

He is love, and he is all I need

I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around, 
But she takes it all for me.
And I lost my faith, in my darkest days, 
But she makes me want to believe.

They call her love, love, love, love, love. 
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She's all I need.

Well I had my ways, they were all in vain, 
But she waited patiently.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame, 
And she put me on my feet.

They call her love, love, love, love, love. 
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need. 

Cause when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh she'll be there, yes she'll be there, 
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need, 
She is love, and she is all I need, 
She is love, and she is all I need.

***I wish I could replace the she's with he's, and this would be my song for you :). We're always going to be in each others lives no matter what; that I have faith in. 

ugh High school girls

Its kinda nice to see that the girls who were mean to me in High School are now fat and wear ugly clothes, and they're football player boyfriends dumped them. 

LUSH UK haul/ July 12th Day 6th!

My LUSH package arrived! 

Samples:

Narcotick Shower Gel - Lavender,Rose, lemon shower gel. I dont like their shower gels, so Ill probably give this to my roommate. 

Flying Fox Shower Gel - Jasmine and Honey shower gel. This smells so good, I may have to try it!

Karma Soap - Been wanting to try this! So excited I got so many samples! Orange and Pachoulli smell. A little different for me, but we'll see!

Bohemian Soap - Lemon drop soap! I love my citrus's! 

Cosmetic Lad Moisturizer - Orange Vanilla scented moisturizer for guys. Roomie again!

Haul:

Two Timing Tart Bubble Bar - Doesn't smell as fruity as I would have liked. A lot more on the coconut side. Broke when I picked it up, but thats good! It means its really fresh. It's very very pink, so I can't wait for my bath and to see the color!

Pleasure Dough Bubble Bar - I forgot I even ordered this! Rose, Lavender and Orange Blossom bubble bar. The lavender really comes through and it smells like my moms kitchen. I don't know if thats a good thing or not yet. 

Miranda Soap - This only has a light kiwi smell. I wish it were a little more apparent. But delicious smelling!

Sicilian Bath Bomb - This smells very clean and fresh. Probably the first one I will use. 

After 8:30 Massage Bar - WAYYY smaller than I thought it would be. Amazing scent (EXACTLY like frango mints), and the mint is so apparent. But in the first 5 seconds of using it, I got chocolate all over my hands. Yuck.

****

Day 6. No heat on my hair for almost a week! Taking pills religiously. But my ends are SO bad. I might give in and get a trim (dusting!) next week. Heavy Conditioning is just not doing it. 

July 10th: Day 4!

Ahh, still feel like Im close to death. Stayed in all day, my mama came to the city and brought me groceries, which was so nice, and I painted my nails: Violet Fire by MAC!

I don't really like MAC nailpolishs, I've decided. It takes a million coats to get it true to the color, and its pretty streaky. I do like the colors, after I've put on about 3 coats, but unless a color is undeniable, I'll probably be checking out OPI and China Glaze.

Took my pills twice today. Haven't seen a difference yet, obviously. Ive read that it starts making your scalp tingle a little bit, then you know its working. Deep conditioner my hair, and used ultimate shine shampoo. I think Fridays will be the only day I shampoo. 

congrats to Jess!

My friend Jessica got engaged tonight. As happy as I am for her, it makes me think about my own situation. Am I in any position to get married? Hell no! Do I want to be engaged or married young, no. But I want someone to love me like her fiance, Angel, loves her. I want to be in love again. I want someone to show me affection and be there for me and who I can could on no matter what. In ways, I guess I do have that, or to some degree I have that, but its not enough for me. Now, I'm being selfish in a different way. Sometimes I want to scream 'make me promises, make me commitments!' 'Tell me you love me, as much as you show me, and I appreciate it, I wish I was hearing the words.' I wish I had someone to come home to at night. Who couldn't wait to see me. In some ways, it makes me miss Kyle. Obviously, we didn't work, but we really were there for each other. We had each other to depend on. Why can't I get that from the person I love?

July 9th: Day 3! And...Ultra Nourishair

Day 3! Of growing out my hair.

I went this morning and bought the Ultra Nourishair with 120 pills. $18.00 for 3 months of pills (you take these GIGANTIC pills twice a day after breakfast and dinner). That's not that bad of a price. Especially since after 10 days if you're not seeing results, you can take the bottle back, and get a full refund. I took one this morning after I bought it, and they taste like crap! But I better see some results!

Gah, I've been super sick since Tuesday morning. I think I'm going to lay in bed for the next few days, and just take it easy this weekend. 

perfumes

So, Im kinda weird about my perfumes. I've always wanted a "signature" scent, and I established one for myself last fall, and received a HUGE gift set for christmas from my dad and thats Donna Karen's Cashmere Mist. I have it in a lotion, deodorant (my second one, they're huge but i keep them in my purse so it goes like crazy!) and the perfume. I love it, but now Im running into this problem of it being a fall/wintery scent. 

At school, because it was Aveda, we had to wear natural scents and scents that they sold, so I found one that I really liked, but wasnt really a perfume. They call them chakras and i had the "power" scent, which was lavender, lemon and balasm.

I used to wear Gucci's "Envy", but the smell was too citrus and girly, and I like a muskier scent. Now, I've been keeping Ruehl's "for her" scent in my bag, that people LOVE, but I'm still looking for a summery scent. 

I smelled "Unconditional Love" by philosophy the other day at Macys and really liked it,but Im waiting, and will go smell it again because i dont want to spend the money and not like it.

Things I wish I would have said

I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in my life at the person you are, and Im starting to wonder if it's who you've always been or something you've developed over time. I think a giant portion of your life consists of lying to other people and lying to yourself. What a warped sense of reality you've created for yourself. You've started to live in this world where everything is so fake, and you've taught yourself to believe it's true and real. 

You think buying people things makes them like you? I used to think that too. I used to think that taking care of people with materials would make them realize how much I care about them. But instead, it just makes people laugh in your face, and talk about how dumb you are behind your back, which is exactly what happened to you.

The people that are your actually friends won't care how much money you spend on them or how much you sacrifice. As long as you're an honest person, and don't use and take advantage of the people you claim to care about. This is exactly what happened to me. I gave so much of myself, and my money (which I was required to do because my parents made more income, right?) and got used and taken advantage for it, and got lied to for almost 3 years.

One day you'll take a look at yourself and realize...I took events from websites and told everyone they were a part of my life. Or, I forged all the poetry I wrote from someone else's ideas. Or I wanted cool things to happen to me, so I told everyone they did. And when asked to be proven, more lies were created, more excuses, until you started to believe them yourself. I never wanted the world's coolest friend, but someone who knew who they were. 

Its taken me quite some time to find people who care about me, and who I can care about, with priorities and values I share. But its all been worth it. 

JULY 8th DAY 2

So my plan is to update with a picture every 30 days, that way I can see my progress as well. But for today, I realized how easy it is to let me hair dry naturally and not use heat tools or products, and my hair looks really cute. It's just a progress. 

I'm going to start taking these pills called Nourishair that are really good for your hair, skin and nails. Hopefully that will work as well. 

***EDIT***

So I've been trying to eat more protein, so I put eggs in my ramen this morning. HEY! Its a start. 

I've not been shampooing my hair, for the past few days I just put conditioner on my ends, and while its sinking in , I do a quick wet scalp massage (I've been doing it a lot while my hairs dry. Its becoming a habit! It feels good, its addictive, and it releases the oils that you're scalp produces and spreads them to the rest of your hair!) And when I got out of the shower, I didn't scrub my head, just have it wrapped in a towel. 

Growing my hair out. JULY 7th, DAY 1

So this is day one of growing my hair out. I've been researching how to grow hair longer and faster and the best ways to do it. I thought if I wrote it down, I'd be less likely to dye my hair, and use a lot of styling tools. 

So...shampoo less often, no dying, and less usage of styling products. Absolutely no cuts! A lot of sites say to cut your hair often, but if I go get my haircut, I'll just want to cut it all off. Soo...

12 months. 12 months I can do. 16 is what I want to do though. 

John VS. Brad

So I know...its like my 10000th post today, but I've been thinking for a while how much this guy, Brad,I paint sometimes looks like John! Granted...Brad is 30 (DOESNT LOOK IT) and John is 22 in August. 
 

LUSH and MAC Haul/Review

Went to LUSH with Ally yesterday and got some stuff:

Sunny Side Bubble Bar - $5.95 - This bubble bar smells like Sweet Oranges and tangerines. I love citrus scents, was a little thrown aback about how glittery the product was, so I put off buying this. However, it was between Pop in the bath bubble bar and this, so I bought this one instead.

Coal Face Facial Cleanser -Free with a coupon - I got a small sample of this because every time I seem to go in there, they give me a coupon for a free facial cleanser or solid shampoo. So I got a solid facial cleanser this time. I never got this before, because it has a very overpowering licorice scent. 

 Big Blue Bath Bomb - $5.80 - I had wanted to get this and the smell is to die for! Im surprised I hadn't picked this up before, but it as exfoliating sea salt in it (however, I am a little worried it will dry out my skin...) and smells like lemon and lavender. AWESOME!

 Cupcake Face Mask - Everytime I go in there, I always get a sample of one of their face masks. The masks are a bit expensive and I never use them twice a week, so a sample is free, and I get 2 or 3 uses out of it. It almost makes me feel bad, but I purchase so much from them, I don't feel AS bad. This smells like bananas and chocolate, with a hint of mint it in. I want to eat it.

REVIEWS:

 Cupcake Facial Mask - THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE MASK! I like it better than love lettuce. Its not exfoliating as much, but its really smooth and the scent is amazing and I can really feel a difference already. I may purchase a full size of this after I'm done trying the other masks. 

Coal Face Facial Cleanser - The scent is SO icky. It smells kinda manly, so I might give it to my roommate. I wet the bar and rubbed it between my hands, and it got all gritty, but not good exfoliating gritty...but like nasty dirty gritty. It made me feel dirtier than when I went to wash my face. Good thing it was free...

Ceridwen's Cauldron Bath Melt - I finally got a chance to use it, and I love it! It's in this little satchel so that the oatmeal thats in it doesn't get all over the tub. The melt is heavenly, and smells really light herbal smell (lavender, sandalwood, frankincense) that I surprisingly really enjoyed. Definitely buying it again.
 Sunny Side Bubble Bar - I'm still not sure about this. The bubbles were big and full, but I didn't like the smell as much as I thought I would. It left me feeling really moisturized, and little bits of glitter all over my skin (and not the bathtub!) which I really liked. But it made the water all yellow, which is kinda gross...still deciding. 

I decided NOT to repurchase this. When I got up to take a shower this morning, my tub was all yellow, and I had to scrub it off, and it was really slippery. eek!

I made a little trip to MAC! I wanted a very specific color by NYX and wanted to find it at MAC instead because I get a huge discount. So the last of my buying before PROJECT 10 PAN!

Dark Side Lipstick - $14.00, $8.00 with my MACpro card - has an amplified finish, and IM IN LOVE. With a little bit of "sin" cremesheen over it, its really pretty. When it fades, it looks just like a stain. Works really well with my haircolor. 

 Mineralize Skinfinish Highlighter in "Soft and Gentle"- $27.00 regular price I paid $16 with my MACpro card (thank god!) - if you read my 10 things I can't live without - this is on there. LOVE this, whether its wet or dry. Because it's a mineral powder, you can wet it and it won't ruin the product. 

cant live withouts/regret buying

My days of stealing the internet are over! Fortunately, I can do pretty much everything from my phone. Even watch youtube! New discovery! I wanted to do a 10 products I can't live without VS. 10 products I regret buying. 

Here goes: 

10 products I can't live without!

1.Burts Bees Raspberry Lipbalm: this stuff is fantastic! Its newly discovered because of "project 10 pan" and I'm so glad it was! I put it on before I go to bed, and when I wake up, and when I'm going out I throw it in my purse. You can't use it enough! It tastes and smells great, its super cheap, and has actually saved my lips.

2.Cream Blush by MAC in "tint"- this is like a deep neutral raspberry color. Now that my hair is really dark brown, it goes so well with my skin tone, and it leaves a really dewy glow. I've gotten into blushes lately, so they'll be a few cheek products in this list, but this is definitely my favorite! 

3.Highlight Mineralize Skinfinish by MAC in "soft and gentle"- when Michael put this on me, I was in love. I had heard such good things about akinfinishes and had never tried them. He put one side of my face on with a dry brush and one side with a damp brush, and both were beautiful. Just an awesome product. 

4.Creamy Face Cleanser by KissMyFace- this stuff works miracles. I needed a makeup remover, and didn't want to by a strictly eye makeup remover which is what a lot of products are. I found this at whole foods, and it was a little pricy, around 15 dollars, but is exactly what I needed. A lot of products say you need a pea sized amount, and you always need more, but this, you honestly need just that for your whole face. Will continue to buy! 

5.Creamsheen lipglass by MAC in "boy bait"- best lipgloss I've ever owned. Unfortunately these are limited editions. The texture is so nice and glossy without being sticky at all, and feel so nourishing. The color is a light neutral pinky beige and great for everyday wear. I also have one in 'sin' which is a dark brown red, which for anyone interested, goes amazingly with 'darkside' amplified lipstick. My new favorite combo for going out! 

6.You Rebel tinted moisturizer by benefit in 'dark'- this stuff is really nice. The texture is really light and it lasts a long time. I use this darker moisturizer after I spray tan because its the perfect shade for my skin, and it blends really well! 

7.liquid highlighter by benefit in "highbeam"- I really enjoy this stuff. I've had it for a while now, and when I want that innocent, really pinky shimmery look, I brush this one my cheekbones.The applicater is the only negative I have regarding this product. It looks like a nailpolish brush. 

8.BadGal Lash Mascara by benefit in "plum"- I had a hard time choosing whether or not I liked the plum or the black mascara better but I went with the plum because I have deep green eyes, and the red in the mascara makes them pop. I LOVE this mascara formula and will never buy another. It literly makes you look as If you have fake lashes on, and I love lashes! 

9. Chanel Nailpolish in "Boa"- this summer has been the summer of blushes and nails for me. I always rip my nails off, whether it be anxiety or bordem. My friend suggested I wear nailpolish so that I won't do that. I went and got a manicure, and so far, no ripping or biting for almost 3 weeks! My stepmom gave me this hotpink color about a year ago and its perfect. One coat and I'm good to go! 

10.Jasmine and Henna Fluff Ease hair mask by LUSH- this stuff works wonders. I dye my hair a lot, hopefully not anymore, I want my hair dark, and I'm starting to grow it out, but I need that extra conditioning and moisture and this stuff is perfect. Plus, when I wash it out, I don't need shampoo and it gives me soft beachy waves. I'm almost out though! 1 product for project 10 pan!

10 things I regret buying: 

1.Studio Mist Foundation by MAC in "summer"- I honestly don't even know why I bought this. Its pretty old, but looking at the can, I know they don't even carry them anymore, and I thought it was a bronzer, not a foundation, which is what I bought it for. The spray can is really unpredictable, I spray it on my racoon brush and then use it as a contour but its so dark for my skin, and very hard to blend in. Eww! 

2.Peeper Paints by Valerie in "devils food"- I didn't know If I should include this, because it didn't actually buy it, but If I can stop someone else from purchasing it, awesome. This brand is only found in California, and the product is awkward. Its an shadow but it has this layer or glitter over the top so you think its really pretty but after your first use, the color is kinda blah. It cracks very easily and the product is hard to pick up onto a brush and doesn't blend AT ALL! 

3.Stick Highlighter by benefit in "gilded tangerine"- I bought this because I was getting really into benefit and thought this color was really pretty in the packaging. It was a light gold color that looked really wearable. Unfortunately, when I got home and tried it, the color was bright orange! It left chunks of product behind as well instead of gliding and leaving a a soft sheen. Disappointment! 

4.Paint Pot by MAC in "delft"- this is a blueish color, and I also own the red, but HATE paintpots! They don't work as a base, and although I've kept them tightly sealed, the product all clumped to the middle of the glass container and dried out! Ill be sticking to paints in the tubes. 5.Maybelline dream mousse blush in "playful peach"- horrible consistancy! Gross texture, and I was looking for a peach color, not a bright light pink, that would make me look like Barbie! 6.Burts Bees lipshimmer in "champagne"- I really like burts bees products usually, but this product has a lot of chunky glitter in it that makes my lips feel gritty instead of moisturized. The color, which I thought would be a light peach wash was actually ourplish gray looking. Yuck! 

7.ocean salt face and body exfoliater by LUSH- I had such high hopes for this because people raved about it online. The smell is very good, but it burned my skin, and whenever I licked my lips, whether it be 3 days later, I felt like I was eating salt! I can find another exfoliater that doesn't taste gross.

can i hold out from love?

I think as much as I don't want a relationship, its really hard not to be with the person I care about.I watched Alfie today, which I do very rarely but it made me think. That I deserve happiness. I deserve to be with the person I love and who loves me. Don't we owe that to ourselves. I wish I could say 'let's be together and deal with our bullshit' but that isn't something that works. Dealing with our bullshit has to be done before we can really make something work. Sure, I'm in a position where I have the emotional control to fuck, but that's just not something I want anymore. I can hold out from sex, can I hold out from love?

RETRO lush

My mama bought me Retro Lush today!!! Remember: RETRO items are discontinued store items that can only be found online. I can only post what I got since it's coming in the mail and I don't have any first impressions...The descriptions are what I read off of the site.

We did order from the LUSH UK site because it's less expensive. I'll put the currency converter with the product - compared to the US price.

Two Timing Tart Bubble Bar - 3.00 pounds ($4.89 US dollars) on the UK site compared to $5.95 on the US site.

A bubble bar that smells like coconut and fruity tartness.

Miranda Soap - 2.79 pounds ($4.55 US dollars) on the UK site, compared to $7.95 on the US site

A kiwi scented soap, with exfoliating kiwi seeds.
After 8:30 Massage Bar - 3.75 pounds ($6.12 US dollars) on the UK site, compared to $8.75 on the US site.

Has been referred to a "frango mint" scent. Little apprehensive because a lot of people have said it's messy because of the chocolate bottom, but my mom bought a massage bar, and I got one for the free tin.

The Sicilian Bath Bomb - 2.90 pounds ($4.73 US dollars) on the UK site, compared to $5.95 on the US site.

This is the reason I really wanted to buy retro items. orange and tangerine scented bath bomb!

Ins and Outs

Just doing a few "Ins and Outs":

Ins:

-youtube gurus. I'm kind of obsessed. I can watch them for hours. Some, I've been watching for so long, they feel like my friends, and then I feel like a loser. Haha.

-Blush. I'm such a makeup junkie, but haven't really ever been into blush. Last time my mom took me to the MACpro store, I got a cream blush in "tint", and am IN LOVE. I also have a mineral blush from MAC is "warm soul" that gives a really pretty glow.

-My mom's annual nurses picnic being on Wednesday.  There's always so much fantastic food!

-Spending time with Cassi, Jenny, and Brit. I can't remember the last time I had really good GIRLfriends. They've been lifesavers. They're just such good, positive people. I really enjoy their company, and don't feel used whatsoever.

-Brittany's brother,Matt, moving in with Dean and Brit. WHAT A FOX! We went out to dinner together the other night, and there's been a little innocent flirting.... ;)

-Matt's beagle puppy named Bella! 

Outs:

-My microdermal is giving me trouble lately. It got hit, and was swollen and red, and very painful. I almost thought I might have to get it taken out (which I found out isn't as bad as I thought it was), but I don't have to, and its clearing up.

- My kitty's eye is acting funky. She keeps closing it and there's a lot of discharge. If its still bothering her next week, I might have to take her to the vet. She LOVES the vet, what a weirdo....but hates the car, so I don't like taking her.

-The weather. It was like 92 degrees consistently, and then the second I went out and bought a fan, it went down to like 60 degrees!! Disappointing summer. 

-My choice to do the "Project 10 pan". I know it'll be helpful, and save me a lot of money. Theres just one lipstick I want to get before I OFFICALLY start. I already decided one of the products is going to be my Burts Bee's raspberry lipbalm. If I apply it at night, my lips are SO smooth in the morning.

-Wanting to loose weight, and it being SUPER hard. I live near a bunch of bars and fantastic restaurants. Beer/Bar food is not good. I need to start cutting back. 

Love me.

I love you.

I hope you continue to keep letting me love you.

And one day, I hope you'll let yourself love me back.

Happy 23rd Birthday to the Boy That Broke my Heart

So my makeup artist friend from Indiana, who I never get to see, is in town tonight! She texts me to meet up with her because it's her bestfriends birthday, and I'm all like "cool! Ill meet up with you at (so and so bar)!" and then I was like...wait. FUCK! My ex boyfriends birthday is today...isn't it? Her bestfriend is my exboyfriend...isn't it? 

That sucks balls...

Happy 23rd Birthday to the boy that broke my heart. 

LUSH/Project 10 Pan

So a little review, because I haven't posted in a little while regarding LUSH

Vitamin C Toner Tab (I haven't used Vitamin E yet) - I was actually a little disappointed with this product!  My face had been really red and irritated for a few days, so I thought it would be a nice treat. I heated up water in a pot on my stove, as as directed, I dropped the toner tab into the pot, and put a towel over my head into the bowl. The steam was really nice, and the smell was amazing, but after wards, even after taking some of the infused water on a bad and wiping my face, my face wasn't smooth or moisturized, it actually felt really gritty. Im going to use the other one because I have it, and they were only $1.50, but I won't be repurchasing them. Maybe with the next tab, I'll do the procedure and then do a mask. I usually use products by themselves to get the full effect. 

 Avobath Bomb - This, I really enjoyed. The smell is wonderful! It smells a lot of lemongrass ( :( the only LUSH product that has lemongrass in it). Its moisturizing and turns the water green. Another (kinda weird) effect it has was that as it was fizzing, it was cold. Definately a summer bathbomb. However, it did fizz out really fast. Champagne Supernova took like 15 minutes to fizz out, and all the others I've used since then are really fast. Hmm...definite repurchase. 

 Think Pink Bath Bomb - I bought this just the other day and was so anxious to try it, I didn't even get to put it in a haul blog. I'm actually pretty upset that I don't like this. It was everything you would want in a bathbomb; moisturizing, turns the water a pretty pink color, has little pretty hearts that fall out of the bomb, but for me...the smell was so vanilla, and sweet, (it has vanilla and tonka bean in it), that I just could never repurchase it. I really like citrusy smells. 

SO...I've decided something:

I've been watching youtube makeup gurus like I always do, and one girl who I'm loving right now, named Laura (she's from England and so adorable) created this thing for makeup junkies called "project 10 pan". Its where you don't allow yourself to buy makeup until you've finished at least 10 products. Not only does it save you money, stop you from impulse buying, but it also makes you take a look at all the products you have that you don't use. SO! As of today, commence: Whitney's Project 10 pan!  (Of course this includes MAKEUP: eyeshadow, lipstick, gloss, pigments) (DOES NOT INCLUDE: skincare, nailpolish, LUSH, or getting my brows done) So after I'm through...Ill rate myself on how I did.